Jean

▼ PRESS CAP A blue glass perfume bottle shaped like a long-haired man with a moustache and navy sailor stripes, with a spray nozzle on his head

PG

The Jean Paul Gaultier meme · 125 ml of pure man · spray from the skull


0Sprays today
125.0ml left in his head
0Compliments received
✦ He used to be a torso. Now he has a face. ✦ The stripes go all the way through. ✦ Spray from the skull, smell like the sea. ✦ Nobody asked for the moustache. He grew it anyway. ✦ He used to be a torso. Now he has a face. ✦ The stripes go all the way through. ✦ Spray from the skull, smell like the sea. ✦ Nobody asked for the moustache. He grew it anyway. ✦

Every fragrance ad ends the same way

Now say it slowly.

 



The evolution of man

First a torso. Then a head.

I

The Torso

A striped sailor chest in a tin can. No head, no problem. Every dad's bathroom shelf, 1995 onward.

II

The Tan

Same torso, now bronzed, oiled, and occasionally in a harness. The bottle started going to the gym.

III

The Pride

Gold, chrome, limited editions. The torso has been a sailor, a boxer, and at least one space captain.

IV

The Head

They gave him a face. And hair. And a moustache. And put the nozzle where his thoughts used to be. The internet has not recovered.

Olfactory pyramid

What does he smell like?

TopMint · Lavender · Audacity
HeartSea breeze · Sailor's regret · A single tear
BaseVanilla · Moustache wax · Hot glass · Your uncle at a wedding
JEANPG

It comes in a can

Yes, a tin can.

Every real bottle ships in a striped metal can, like soup for sailors. We've always assumed the head was waiting in there the whole time.

Open it and he's looking at you. He's been looking at you for a while.

Sillage calculator

How many sprays?

Reviews from the docks

Verified smellers.

★★★★★

“Wore it to a club. Three people asked if I was a lighthouse.”

— A sailor, probably
★★★★☆

“Lasts 12 hours. The eye contact from the bottle lasts forever.”

— Fragrance bro, 400k subs
★★★★★

“Bought it for my boyfriend. He is now also made of glass.”

— Concerned girlfriend

Questions

Frequently sniffed.

Where does the perfume come out?

The top of his head. You press down on his brain and he mists. This was a design decision made by adults.

Is he the bottle or is the bottle him?

Yes.

Why is there a moustache?

The torso never had room for one. He has been waiting since 1995.

Can I take the stripes off?

No. They're not a shirt. They go all the way through the glass. He is sailor-core at a molecular level.

How do I pronounce it?

Don't. Whisper it. Scroll up and press the button.